therapy for mom

Often times this blog is just therapy for me, a way to release what I am feeling and for some reason if I write it down I rid myself of a little anxiety. Today is one of those times. So, if you decide to go read a more interesting blog, no hard feelings here. Something is wrong with my boy. He isn't acting like my boy at all. I can't really pinpoint when it happened but I think it was over the weekend. It started with him just being whiny and for the last two days it has been hysterics with intermittant normal time. I am walking on eggshells not knowing if I will get the sweet loving Micahbird ...or the Micah that tests me and dislikes me and wants to cry about everything. I just wish I knew what was wrong and if it was my fault. It could be teething...not my fault. Or it could be his ears...which would be my fault because I let him fall off the steps at the pool and go under with those tubes of his. Or it could be the big bump on his head where he fell and hit his head at the mall....also sortof my fault. It had gone down and now it is getting bigger again. Or it could be fifths disease that our sweet niece has...not my fault at least. I would call my doctor but I think they would just put me on hold then gather all the nurses around and put me on speaker so they could all laugh at "that mom" that worries way too much about her kid and obviously doesn't watch him very well...because of all the falling stories. So I am left to worry while he naps. It just so happens that times like these only happen when Mick is unavailable meaning all of Micah's symptoms are magnified because I get to see them up close and personal 24/7 with little break. Sometimes I think I am getting this mom thing down, then when there comes a time when I can't help Micah feel better and I remember I am such a beginner. Once again life will go on for our fam and there are far worse things going on in so many's house today, probably even yours. But that is our trial for today so I must release it!