Friday, July 30, 2010

A House Divided...

How could this face possibly be right?
We know how to have fun...
Four thumbs up!
And we can't forget our sweet baby girl.

Ok, so these are random pictures that do not go with this post but I just can't stand to have a pictureless post and I don't really think those pictures warrant a post in the first place. Hee hee.
So my title isn't about us rooting for two different football teams like those silly car tags (sorry if you have one). And this post comes with more disclaimers than the actual post itself. Meaning read on with me at your own risk...I am writing this as it comes but wanted to get it out on the screen and just to see others takes on the matter. You will see in your reading that I am definitely a brain divided as well.
The thing that Mick and I have been divided on since about two days into our dating life was the number of children we would have. I always wanted a ton and Mick wanted two at the MOST. He has many rational debates to his point of view, top of the list being providing for the sweet babies and the fact that he is old. I have always glazed over those two issues and thought eventually he'd come around. I should have known that on the day we found out Sadie Jane was a girl he offered to go get snipped...and truth be told has offered every day since (ok, I am exaggerating but you see what I mean) He also claims to have prayed about it...but I always have a hard time when God answers Mick's prayers first. Just teasing...Mick is still open to praying but so far the spirit has NOT moved.
All joking aside I have never agreed that we were done and in case you are wondering this isn't a real source of discension in our marraige, I wouldn't broadcast it if it were...ok maybe I would...but Mick and I both would compromise on this issue were the other completely sold out, but neither of us have actually pulled the absolute card...yet. He might after reading this post:) But part of me just feels like I have to keep holding out for more because that is the more "spiritual thing to do". I know that might sound crazy but think about it, the most godly people you know, unless they can not reproduce, do so often...I'm just saying. Ok maybe I should say that alot of people that have a lot of children are usually really godly people. MAJOR stereotype there and not at all accurate but this is how my messed up brain works. Anyways, the Bible says be fruitful and multiply and the Duggars seem to think you should have as many babies as God allows. Now, I can't even have one baby without medicine or surgery so it isn't likely (unless God wanted us to) that I would get pregnant. So part of me thinks we should just do nothing and see what He would like. Mick does not like this idea and lately I have been wondering if I actually want to be done.(gasp!) I love my babies and I know people have worried about having more than one and not having enough love to go around. Love is not the problem here. My love only multiplied when I had Sadie Jane, but my attention got divided and I really have a hard time with that. It seems like with each subsequent child you miss out more and more with the older ones. I think God gives some people capacity and ability to handle this better that others. So far it doesn't feel like I am good at it. I am sad when I miss time with Micah and nursing seems to cause me to be away from him even more but it is worth it. (we all read that I had been nursing SayJ too much anyways) It seems like I hardly get to talk to Sadie Jane and look her in the eye because I am also busy disciplining and talking to our chatty Bird. Don't take this as me not being a fan of big families because I really am. Which is why I am confused as to why I might be leaning towards Mick side of being ok with just two. I always wanted more and have said so for a long time...I can't change my mind now. This is about me and everybody's brains...ok probably no one but me...thinks and has anxiety like I do. But when I think about not having anymore I am sad about all the broad generalities of sweet baby loving and pictures and cute things but when I think about nursing, post part depression and waking up in the night and mainly having to pull myself away from the two I have now again the way I have had to with SayJ I get a little relieved that Mick is halting my horse.
I know that no matter what if we seek Jesus and what He wants for our family we will make the right decision for us. Everyone has to do what is right for themselves...not neccesarily what is right in their own eyes...but what God really wants for them. I am just not sure what the answer to that is for our family yet. So we'll keep praying...and I'll keep being me, even in all my craziness in my head. This post was written after reading a book on I might feel a little to secure and be oversharing. Some things never change.

So what about you and yours? How many is enough for you? Whatcha think?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

10 Months! What? What??

Sadie Jane is 10 months today. These pictures are from this morning on our way out the door to tennis. Mick got to go with us and see Micah and I "get in shape" in Micah's words this morning. Once again another month has passed by at lightning speed. It seems that before I even got used to telling people she was nine months, she turned ten. Sadie Jane has come upon ten months with lots of changes. She now has three teeth coming in. None of them have made their final descent...hence why she doesn't sleep and apparently is really painful.
Sadie Jane is standing all by herself and can actually go from squatting to standing up. It is so cute. It is weird that she has such balance to do that but if she starts to walk her little ankles look like they might collapse under those sweet hammies.
Sadie Jane has started doing the indian noise and can do touchdown like Micah used to do. She is all smiles but continues to be REALLY attached to her Momma.
One thing I realized after we got home from vacation that SayJ sure was eating ALOT and I was starting to get really tired of all her eating. It didn't help to get mastitis on vacation. So I looked on the trusty ol' blog to compare with Micahbird and wouldn't you know Micah was only eating three times a day at this age and I have been letting SayJ eat anytime which means 5 or 6 times!! I swore I could never do that "on demand" type feeding and here we sit at ten months with baby girl eating any time...including the middle of the stinkin' night. Yet another thing I refused poor Micah. So while Sadie Jane has been deprived of her onlychildhood and has to deal with her brother on lots of occasions I feel secure I have made up for it for nursing her until she could burst. SOOOO, this week we gave up that night feeding....for good...I hope:) AND she has cut down to three feedings a day and is quite fine with that. It just seems with the second I rarely have taken or had the time to be disciplined in her routine. It always seems like I say next week...and then here she is ten months old. I think she might nurse til kindergarten and I might not notice. Just teasing people but I really don't know how long she'll go since it is such a sweet time with her.
Sadie Jane survived our family vacation like a champ and loved having Bay as her constant companion. So did I.
Sadie Jane is so sweet but someone commented on how busy and active she is in the same way that Micah looks like they both are going to be superactive kiddos...I don't know where they get this?
Also, in all this I have realized that maybe only having two babies will be ok...I am going to write on that soon. I wanna hear what you all think too. Not that you will have a say in my reproduction...haha...but I am curious on others take on family size.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hello, Security...


May the Lord answer you when you are in trouble; may the God of Jacob make you SECURE. Psalm 20:1

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him, for he knows how we are formed.

Psalm 103:13-14

Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.

Hebrews 2:11

She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:25

This is the confidence we have in approaching God, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us whatever we ask we know that we have what we asked of him.

1 John 5:14-15

You can hurt my feelings, but you cannot have my security. I wont let you. It’s mine to keep. You cannot have it.

You can criticize me and even be right about what I did wrong, but you do not get to damage my security. It’s mine to keep. You cannot have it.

You might have embarrassed me, but I refuse to let it fall on me so heavily that it smothers my security. It’s mine to keep. You cannot have it.

You may be so intimidating and threatening that I feel I have to hand a lot of things to you, but I refuse to hand over my security. Who you are doesn’t get to dwarf who I am. My security is mine to keep. You cannot have it.

She will have no fear of bad news; her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Her heart is secure, she will have no fear, in the end she will look in triumph on her foes.

Psalm 112:7-8

The Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Proverbs 3:26

Just thought I'd share a little bit of what God has been teaching me through reading Beth Moore's "So Long, Security". I have been reading it with three other women and it has been such a blessing. God has taught me so much and I am so excited about applying what He has taught me. Even right here on the blog. I will share more of that in part two. But God's word definitely says it better...

Friday, July 23, 2010

PCB 2010

This is our ONLY family picture from the whole week?? Are you kidding me???
Sadie Jane wearing her outfit Bay picked out for her.
At the boats...nice picker, Micah.
Char Char with Nana and Pops

My boys at the boats.
Bay holding SJ
All the girls!!

Me and my girl.
Riding the train together. Yippee.

Two peas...these two.
Pops and Nana...thanks to them for a great trip!!
.Our happy family-Micah who refused. Stinker.
Aunt Wendy and SayJ

Nana, Sadie Jane and a flamingo.
One of my favorite pics of the girlies

Micah crashing a wave! He loved it!
He went that way! Hilarious. I don't know what they are pointing at.

SayJ doing the bear crawl. She does this anytime she is in water or grass or on concrete.
Sadie Jane going in for the first time...she only put feet in before...
Micah and Daddy.

Can you tell it was hot?
On the balloons...

We were in Panama City for the last 7 days!! It was so much fun. We spent most of it with the Harper's and Eidson's and loved it. We were busy busy but had a ton of fun as a family. Sadie Jane is not sleeping but what is new there. I have more to post but wanted to get the pictures up for Jenny...more on her later.