Tuesday, February 9, 2010

God's Purpose for Friendship.

Rough picture from the Super Bowl with all the Girls! Can you see the pain in my eyes...this was postmigraine??

Uncle Justin with SayJ...she LOVES him so!!


I have been thinking on this post for a while. God gives us so much in the gift of friendship. I am so thankful for each of my friends...so much that most are each my BEST friend for a different reason. God seems to use each of them to teach me something different. As my time with friends has grown limited God shows me more and more through friends even in the little amount of time I have to devote to them. For example we went to one of my best friend April's house for the Super Bowl and it got me thinking how things had changed so much just in our five years or so of friendship. I wanted to share honestly about it because I know so many people are somewhere on this continuum. When we met April and Justin in Sunday School class their kiddos were 2 and 3. Mick and I were just married but a little bit older than they were (ok, Mick alot) but the kids balanced our ages out. I can remember having them over, with their kids and after they left Mick and I would discuss what we'd do differently with our kids. Christian, the oldest, was quite rambunctious and I even thought a little out of control at times. I would smile politely at April and then give Mick the look, like "they really need to do something with him". To be fair to them, they were disciplining him throughout this time I just didn't realize at the time that it is an ongoing process:) Oh boy, I thought I'd read enough books and taught a few years of school so I really new best:) Thankfully April loved me even though I am sure she sinced my judgemental criticism sinfulness. Little did I know that God would place a very similar even more rambunctious boy under my own care a few years later. I've since come clean with April about my thoughts and she has shrugged and laughed it off because she said she knows it is hard for anyone to understand until they are faced with something similar of their own. Thankfully our children have inevitably brought us closer rather than farther apart. Had I let my misunderstanding hinder our friendship or if April had simply grown impatient with my lack thereof we would not have the friendship we have...I can say the same for many of my other relationships as well. Since having Micah, April has graciously given me guidance and I have been able to watch both of her children come to know our Jesus and be baptized!! So apparently she was doing something right! My judgement has turned into awe and God has used our friendship to refine me in many ways. Now that I am the one with the ball of energy I can both appreciate what others are going through and repent for my judgemental nature. I know each of us thinks that we "know best" but let me be the first to say sometimes we are just wrong...
So as we sat at the Super Bowl a few nights ago I thanked God for friends that ebb and flow through our ever changing seasons and I grinned as April's two entertained my two. And when Micah banged a heavy object on their brand new hardwoods I am pretty sure I saw April give Justin that "they really need to do something with him look"...but hey, I understand.

Due to past misconceptions I will clarify that I never for once thought April wasn't a great momma and I am grossly misrepresenting that her childrens' behavior was a make or break deal factor in our friendship. I find it hard to find a child that I can't see some piece of who God is in them but I am just striving to remind us all, especially me, that everyone parents differently and what works for you might not work for me....and then again it might be just the thing. Either way it is between us and our Jesus the way we ultimately "bring them up". We can offer and seek advice but ultimately our Creator is the one who truly knows best and who guides us to those friends to help us through each new season. Here's to friendship!

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