I use the term Loyal Reader very loosely but I again need some input. I just wanted to point out that I got very little input from all you married people out there...I thought most of you that read this were married, but either you don't read it, you have no advice or you just didn't want to help anyone out. (just teasing, sortof) Thanks to my two readers that were willing to help... I think half of my comments from that post were from single ladies (enter Beyonce song into my head for the rest of the day) who also wanted more info. So I thought I would ask you again to share your advice but since now I know my commentator audience I will ask you girls...what do you want to know about marriage?? What is it that you are dying to know? I probably wont have the answers but I know people...
And for those girls that want copies of my "book" send me your email and I'll start harrassing you too with my wealth of knowledge or lack thereof...
8 comments:
Loyal reader here! :)
My marriage advice -- marry your best friend. Know before you marry them that you don't want to live life without them. Because when those moments come where you want to jump ship, you can remember those days of not wanting to live life without them, and KNOW the hard days are better than the days without your spouse.
Oh yeah. And communicate, communicate, communicate. If you've got expectations of your spouse, TELL them. They ain't gonna know otherswise. This is very important when you become parents!
Sorry for not responding last time. So here goes:
-Recently I have been rereading my journal from when B and I were dating and engaged. I so wish I kept up with journaling more as it is so good to look back on God's faithfulness and see how we have grown even in these short years
-Allow him to pursue you. Even if you want to run away in a fight or arguement, allow your husband to pursue you in your yuck and sin, and work it out together.
-Find the love language of your husband and encourage him in this way - whether it is by words, gifts, service.
-Have time for girlfrieds - for the fun light stuff and the deep hard stuff. Your husband can't be everything to and for you.
-And on that note, remember that only Jesus can be ALL for you and turn to Him for guidance and strength
-I have to agree with the other post about communication, BIG TIME
-Laugh with each other, at each other, and at yourself
-Have date nights. I know this has to be much harder once you have kids, but it is important to still set aside special time for just the 2 of you
-Talk about expectations with each other (preferably before you get married). Who will clean? How many kids? What do you think of finances? etc, etc. And then revisit these expectations periodacally as they may change as your life stage changes.
That's it for now. I will repost if I think of more.
The best thing we have done for our marriage is being a part of a small married group. Each week 4 of us couples get together and talk about our weeks. We bring up the dirt in the marriage group, our fights (even if we're in the middle of one), our joys from the week, even our sex issues. Having weekly accountability for your marriage is huge!!!
Random reader here. :)
Be honest. From the very beginning. Don't try to "form" yourself into the person that you think your partner wants. Be who you are. If they love you...the REAL you, then it will work out.
And for goodness sakes, communicate! Talk TO each other...not ABOUT each other. :)
Didnt comment before because I am always worried that giving marriage advice will somehow have a curse on my own marriage. The best advice I can give is to let yourself be best friends. It is so hard in the beginning of a relationship to show your faults and shortcoming, but, if it is true love, those things become part of what you love the most. I am thankful my husband loves my chatty, emotional and sometimes scatterbrained traits. I love his ocd and spreadsheet traits. We have learned to lean on each other no matter what, and to TRULY TALK. I have never had such an open relationship where every topic is open game. It is wonderful to have someone really know you and love you at the same time.
I'll take a book too :)
Read The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. Listen to Tim and Em's talk on today's love letters blog. Marry your best friend. Discuss holidays prior to getting married and the expectations you have for them. I.e. Where you will spend them, etc. Stay (or get) debt free. Dont live above your means. Have hobbies outside of each other, but also find things you enjoy doing together. Spend several good quality years together before children. Do it often. The first 4 minutes of seeing each other in the afternoon/evening (after work) determine how the night will go. Greet each other with a kiss! Celebrate everything...prevent life from becoming monotonous. Hold hands in the car. Compliment your husband often. Build him up in private so that he will be confident in public. Never talk down about your husband in public. Pray for your husband. Never say the D word! talk about everything. Frequently, and honestly, evaluate your marriage. Constantly work and fight for your marriage.
That is some of the advice I have! :) hope that helps your book.
Did I miss something??? I didnt see the post where you were asking for advice... I'm a loyal reader...love your blog...told Mick I couldn't wait to see spring break posts! My advice is Communication is key, and always put effort into chasing one another. As a wife live by the "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartin and as a couple read "Love and Respect" These are my two most favorite "marriage books"
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