Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"The Freaker"

Let's see...there's "The Freaker", "The Overthetopper", "The PutDirt-on-it-er", "The Cool as a Cucumber", "The Lover", "The Examiner" and I am sure there are others out there that I am failing to identify. I am talking about how you handle a crisis....

I am officially a "Freaker". I come from a long line of "Freakers", my Mom (Jenny) is a major freaker, my sister is an almost identical "freaker" to my mom and Jenny learned it from my Grandmama who actually puts most "Freakers" to shame...and although I did not know my Great Gmama I am betting she is a "Freaker" at least in part.

I have always shamelessly shamed my mom for her "Freaker" ways. Whenever there is a crisis, someone is hurt, dead, etc. she goes to pieces. And I don't mean a little bit, but she gets loud and "Oh my God's" it to death. (I also know that the term "Freaker" sounds a little harsh but it perfectly fits the situation that someone actually "freaks out", I'm not a huge fan of the word but there wasn't another appropriate one to use.) Anyways, if ever we were injured my Mom would come running and if we weren't upset we knew we were gonna be, because with all her moaning and shouting and crying we were always scared to tears. Even now I have to preface tough subjects, with "Mom, please don't freak out and go to pieces..." but it never works, it only lessens the freak out.

Now my Grandmama she is straight Gone with the Wind- style freaking. She will literally fall to the floor if something has happened to someone or if she thinks someone isn't telling her something that has gone on. Although, I will say that when we found out my cousin David Allen had a heart attack on Thanksgiving, I gave her the same preface I give my Mom and she held up much better. Ah-hem, I wont tell you how Jenny ran out the cabin door screaming her head off and shouting to the heavens.

And then my sister, the toughest of tough...don't mess with her she'll beat you up...is a "Freaker". It is contradictory to her very attitude but nonetheless it is apparently in our genes and she must freak if the situation is a crisis.

I throw all these ladies under the bus because I love them so and think that they are great...I had just hoped not to emulate them in this ONE area. I vowed not to. I prayed not to...

...and alas last night at Micah's gymnastics I became one of THEM. I had both kiddos at gymnastics and also had a fever and some creepin' crud but I wont use it as my excuse. I was feeling yucky and about to go get Micah when I had left the watch area to go corral SayJ, when I get back all the parents are staring at me with the "I'd hate to be you" look and they bring Micah out screaming. He does not cry much and he doesn't really ever fake hurt. So I knew something was wrong and I was starting to get worked up...they bring him out and I can see it looks like his shoulder is disconnected (later we discovered his shirt was all wadded up and the lights were out). I started to freak and cry and then I went to grab his hand. It was limp as a noodle. And out came "The Freaker". I ran to grab my phone and some of it is a blur. I totally forgot to hug or comfort Micah as I started walking around frantically. A fellow "Freaker" grabbed Sadie Jane and she and I gave each other looks trying not to freak one another out. Then a "Cucumber" came up (ie the one Dad in the place). He assesses the situation and TOUCHES the arm, something I was NOT comfortable with...as any good "Freaker" wouldn't be. We can't let someone diffuse the situation...we must keep it going by all means that is what Jenny would do. So I get everything packed up and another mom that was more of a balance between the Freaker and Cucumber came over and offered to get us to the car since we weren't making much headway there and Micah was starting to freak out as well. Why? Oh why, hmmm, I wonder? Once I got in the car I stayed in a much more task mode and focused on the fact that I was so upset with Mick for not being reachable for the whole hour this fiasco is going on. I finally get Aunt Amy on the phone and locate Dr, I mean, Uncle Brad at Walgreens. I convince Micah that Uncle Brad knows alot about arms and shoulders, because remember he played baseball like Daddy. I trust him enough to actually let him touch it and he does his diagnosis in the parking lot until Micah asks him ever so politely to please go away. By this time we have movement but still no movement of the shoulder and Micah keeps saying his forearm hurts. Brad pushes and prods and only one spot seems to really bother him...I went back to "Freaker" mode during examination but got myself back together enough to tell him thank you and decide to go home since Brad says, "It wont get any broker, if you don't go to the ER for a while..." So we head home and as any good freaker had I had also enlisted, Taron, Kevin, Jenny, Budda, Nana and Pops in our freakout session. Micah is still screaming in his carseat and I get him out and bring him in. Nana rings the doorbell and lo and behold Micah gets up and goes to open it. (arm moving). Then after two minutes of Nana's arrival he is going through his toys full force and arm is completely FINE. Micah even confirms it and doesn't even favor it at all. Mick finally calls minutes before he becomes fine and arrives home to his normal healthy two armed bandit. Mick is a mixture of both the "Cucumber and Dustit-offer and Examiner" and he is a great balance for a "Freaker", he tends to diffuse my need for drama and all goes much smoother. Although I will state that "The Examiner" always feels the need to examine right away, which I feel is not always helpful to those who freak and it is not always neccesary. But I definitely missed my other half to balance me in a somewhat crisis situation. Thankfully Micah is AOK and while fixing him something to eat at 9:30 last night after all the ruckus I ask him why his arm isn't hurting anymore and he says calmly...I think Jesus just healed it. Exactly. Calm down "Freakers" Jesus will fix it!

As for me, I will continue to battle my genes of being a full fledged "freaker" so that my kiddos aren't frightened and if you fall anywhere on the "Freaker" spectrum, know that you aren't alone. AND, if you don't please know that we don't WANT to freak out...it just happens.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is so funny!!! I literally laughed out loud reading it!! Clearly I come "freakers" too so I totally understand. Thanks for sharing!!!

Tiffinnei Weatherford

Maggie said...

hilarious! glad micah is ok (and you too) :)

Melinda Morris said...

This post has definitely brightened my day....I don't know when I have laughed so hard and your descriptions are DEAD ON!!! One of my coworkers came in as I'm laughing and asked what the email joke was about....had to let her read it as well. You have Grandmama and Jenny down pat....not sure about "sister" but the other descriptions are so accurate that I know hers is too. I use to be the "cucumber" for the Hill family but now I'm not across the street. Thanks for sharing this episode and I am sooooo glad Micah is OK and I'll have to remember Dr. Brad can give a prognosis. Love you. I'll even sign my name for a change!!! Melinda "Cucumber" Morris.

Amy said...

Hehe!! That's great! Thanks for sharing!! Glad Dr. Brad could help out! Hahaha! Although, he would say he didn't do anything:-)
Love yoU!

Anonymous said...

A fellow "freaker" too!!!!