Dear Friends,

I have been wanting to write a letter to all my friends about this hard yet beautiful season of our lives. I love real friendships with real women who aren't afraid to be real. That is why I love our friendship. BUT, I wanted to apologize and explain myself for my recent behavior. If I've seemed distant or preoccupied or unavailable, well that is because I am, sortof. I am that way because I am struggling to find a balance between child rearing, Jesus loving, spouse tending and friend having. I am sorry for the distance, the unreturned phone calls, the never made plans. I am sorry that I can't talk on the phone, that I am always feeding, changing, burping or loving on a baby. Well, actually I am not that sorry because this is the season of my life that I love doing those things. It is a sweet time that is somewhat consumed with childrearing, loving and disciplining. Thing is, I do love those things...but I do love friendships too. Although it appears that for this time the two can hardly coexist. It just seems that the time for me and you is few and far between these days. I do my best and only thinking in the shower...if you are a close friend you know this...because when we finally do talk I will say I thought about blah blah blah in the shower. Anyways, I was thinking about how little time I have gotten to spend with you dear friend. And then when I do get to hang out with you there is this little boy who sometimes turns into something we are all afraid of...and that usually happens when I am trying to talk to you, friend. Or the sweet precious princess that LOVES to eat. I spend most of my time these last few months boppy around my waist, baby on my, well you know...2 year old destroying my house. You are my friend, and you have children, or you want them, or you at least like them, so you understand what this season is about, don't you? Sometimes I am afraid when I come out of this crazy season of life that it will be just me and Jesus and no friends to show; because I can't devote the time I want to sustain our relationship...I hope that isn't true but it could be, couldn't it? You are busy too...that is what I tell myself when we don't talk. I hope I'm not being too honest here. I hope I am not the only one who feels this way. That is why I am writing you this letter. Do you sometimes feel the way I do? I don't wish other people to struggle, but if you struggle with this and we are friends we could at least free each other up for feeling guilty about our lack of communication with others that are potty trained and don't drink from a sippy cup. You and I, we have the best lives ever don't we? We aren't foolish to think that our busyness and stress and juggling act are the struggles that compare with those that are fighting for lives, or God forbid their children's. BUT we are where we are for a reason and God is in control of all of that. We are thankful, you and I, for what we have and don't for a second take it for granted.We get to love our children or families or both. I look at you and think how much better you balance these things, how your little ones behave so well and how you seem to make time...I am just trying to get the hang of it too. We live fun lives and do fun things and we both have an amazing God. But since we both love Jesus we can offer each other grace in this "child-centered time" so that when the little ones aren't so little anymore we'll be able to pick up where we left off. Well, I know this isn't exactly a fruit cake or a new year's resolution but I hope to see you soon friend! If not, know that I think about you and pray for you often and I hope you'll do the same for me. Happy New Year!

Love in Christ,

Stephanie<><