gettin' real...sortof

I've warned you all that there was alot on my heart and before I could even put that in writing things got hard. Real hard. I hate to be vague. But I have to be for some of it. Basically there is alot of hurt going on around me and alot of it is some way connected to drugs. I mentioned in previous posts I was having a hard time dealing with life and dealing with my relationship with Jesus, well I guess satan was reading because he has come on hard core. It seems at the very moment I forget how real he is, he shows up with nasty vengance. Ugh. I hate satan. Anyways, I am just truly aware of spiritual warfare right now and I feel like there is a weight all around me. After a hard week of praying and fighting in His strength I get a call yesterday from my Momma (Jenny) that their bff's at the lake Donna and Stanley's daughter Kristie had been found dead in her home that morning. We don't know what happened or the details yet. She has 3 children (one of which is Micah's age) and she was like a sister to me in some ways. We didn't talk as much later in life but she was 8 years older than me and at the lake she was my keeper and babysitter. We did have a few talks as adults and I always left praying for peace for Kristie, often she just had so much on her plate that it seemed so overwhelming. We always loved to joke and laugh about our parents and their crazy lake life. I can always remember if I made Kristie laugh I had definitely said something funny. She was also my parents goddaughter and their only since for 8 years they didn't have me:) Her parents are so special to my parents and to us and Kristie was their only daughter. It is such a shock and a sad situation. It also just brings up alot of thoughts and concerns about my sister since her struggle was similar to Kristie's for so long. It just makes me anxious. Please pray for Kristie's husband, children and family. The one place to find joy is in Jesus that Kristie knew Him and is in heaven. Her struggle with dealing with life was a hard one and she is no longer having to fight that battle. That is a blessing. But I know the people left behind don't neccessarily feel that way and I get that for sure. In times like these the "doing life" and "doing life with Jesus" go hand in hand because you can't get through the day without Him. I am thankful for that constant and peace that passes all understanding and I pray that while the raw emotions and exhaustion will fade that the continued dependence on the Lord, minute by minute, hour by hour, would stay the same.