Boys these days...

well really kids in general, but boys especially is what this post is about. I have a list of disclaimers a mile long because I am not writing to offend, judge, or attack anyone. So if you feel any of the aforementioned things....stop it. I just think this is a conversation that needs to be had, and most of the people, ok women, that read my blog will one day be facing these issues.

Ok, so enough with disclaimers, did I mention don't get your feelings hurt...boy, do I need to get my security straight, or what?

In the past week Mick has faced two difficult decisions with baseball boys. Both situations we have never had to deal with before. So, it got me thinking, what's the deal with these boys? and more importantly, what's the deal with these parents? One decision was life altering, the other just season changing. One extremely important in life, the other only extremely important within a little chain link fence off Chapel Hill Road.

The first situation if you live close to or around Dville, you've heard about. It has been all over the news. While you can get the names and details there, I'll save that for 11 Alive, my concern is more abstract and less about just a few individuals. The incident basically involved underage drinking, that was overseen by adults. The most unfortunate part is that it led to a drunk driving accident that led to an injury and sadly the death of a teenage girl. I don't know her or details about her but I can only imagine her family and friends sadness and the frustration of a death that didn't have to happen. Pray for them. I am not about blame and I am all about grace, when offered by Jesus. So this post isn't about who is responsible for what happened to her. At least not directly. But the reason this hit home is that two of Mick's baseball players were caught purchasing alcohol and arrested. The father of one of the boys was also arrested because he allowed them to drink at his home. The girl that was killed and those with her stopped by this party after drinking at another party previously, where an adult there actually purchased alcohol for all of those high school kids. Just an overall sad situation. But sad because all of these people were seen as contributing to an awful accident. The other hundreds of parents who buy their kids alcohol and do their best to keep them at their house because "If they are going to drink, at least they are doing it at our house where I can keep them safe..."they aren't usually sad come Monday morning. But because of an unfortunate series of events a whole lot of adults are rethinking their decision to do just that. Because I am not at this season of life it is easy for me to say what I would do, so I know some of this may change. But I'll tell you what I know for sure...I do think about Micah and his strong will and the fact that if the boy wants to drink in high school there is most likely nothing I can do about it. I can do my best to raise him to make wise decisions, but ultimately the choice will be his. Ahhh...work work work....that is what I've gotta do for the next 2o years. Due to the situation at hand Mick and I obviously discussed it and while even if we were the type of parents that we mentioned above, this wreck proves that you can not control those around you. I could not bare to be responsible for other peoples children with alcohol being involved. For goodness sake, I kept Jaxson for Taron this week and worried that she would be so upset with his waterlogged shoes, that he soaked while jumping in a puddle. I wont be offering him a brewski in his high school years either. There are just way to many factors and whatifs to do that. So, it just seems there is too much pressure and liability on parents to offer alcohol in a controlled environment, because with teenagers there seems to be never enough control, forget the moral implications or the fact that it is against the law. Don't get me wrong I had plenty of friends parents who did just this and nothing ever happened. They monitored the situation closely and it seemed a responsible way to handle the tabooness of drinking. I think even Jenny probably would have let me knock a few back had I asked:) So, how did this become ok? What does it really teach teenagers anyways? Breaking the law is ok when I say so? I know, I know, there are some parents who speed(I think even Mick does that. haha) etc. and there are plenty of arguments out there. I think I made a few of them as a teenager, so maybe Jenny said no. I just at least wanted to open the dialogue for others to think about it, because while most of us aren't there yet, we will be one day...and we need to know that stuff like this past week happens. For that teenage girls sake we need to at least acknowledge something those parents(the ones that purchased alcohol), and kids, for that matter were doing wasn't right. And we also need to acknowledge it could have just as easily been us, if we make similar choices.

The other situation deals with his team and it seems silly but it sortof goes with the above issue as well. We got the FOURTH phone call this season today that another of Mick's starting players had injured his ankle playing pick up basketball. I know this seems harmless to you, but two players did this during the off season so Mick addressed the issue shortly after tryouts and told the boys, NO bball. One week into practice he gets a call, another starter down with the ankle, he gives an even more serious "Seriously boys, NO bball", and then today his last remaining catcher (remember the two players above wont be returning to the team after their much more lifealtering choices) will be out for most likely the remainder of the season. All of these boys are great boys with great parents, and let's face it playing pickup bball is a MUCH better choice than the ones made in the above paragraph. BUT, these boys are great boys and yet they still directly...let me use a term we Momma's of preschoolers know..."they blatantly disobeyed". Again, I ask, what is the deal? I of course am biased because I am thinking of Mick and the team and the season. I know that God has a purpose for Mick's team and those boys and it is way more important for them to learn more about Him than winning. I definitely get that. And God does use adversity to teach alot of things. But these boys nonetheless chose to do what they knew was wrong. And they chose to be selfish (I know they didn't think of all this, but it is true) and not think about how their team needed them. It was a momentary fun thing to do, so they chose it. Again no shame or blame here. You can't even be mad at them because you know they are just as mad and dissappointed at themselves.

Both of these situations hit home because we played them out not only for these boys but for our two at home. How do we teach Micahbird the importance of obeying those in authority and how do we keep him from doing things that seem "fun at the moment"? Yikes. There are so many things out there that sell just that and bball is definitely the better end of that bargain. It just seems like as I talk about these things there is no way to teach Micah and Sadie Jane all that they need to know to be who God wants them to be. Well not No way, but it sure does seem daunting in light of the recent events. Hmmm...it does seem like there will be many lessons learned in just the way that some of these parents and kiddos are learning them. We are definitely in the coaching field because God called Mick and then subsequently me as his wife and now as his kiddos Micah and Sadie Jane are smack dab in the middle of ministry to a team of boys and girls whether they like it or not. As I type this I am glad that we get to minister to these kids but in situations like this they minister to us. They give us a teaching moment for Micah and allow us to grow as a family and learn more about how God wants us to mold and shape our family to serve Him.

So, oh my word, if you are still reading bless you. I just literally thought things out as I typed and learned a good bit too. So, take it for what it is worth and feel free to leave a comment of your thoughts. As you can see I in no way have mine all ironed out.

Just another day at the park.

One of very few family pics. Not the best, but all inclusive at least.

Love these two boys.

Look at these eyes...above and below...too sweet.

Trying to get a picture with SayJ, not working.

Chasey had just had an ear infection so bless him he got to sport the cute hat because it was sooo windy.

Best Buds.

Silly faces, as if their normal pics aren't silly enough.

Notice the death grip..and does the fact that Micah wont look directly at the camera mean something?

It is Friday which means it is our usual lunchdate at the mall. But Mick was home and baby Maxsim was sick sick with ear infection and the coughs so we decided to head back to the park again for another picnic. This also happens to be free so it fits nicely into our budget. Since Maxsim was sick I begged Taron to let us take Jaxson with us. Other than Hayden this is only the second or third time I have been responsible for someone else's child since I have had children of my own. It was alot of fun and we only had one minor "incident". It helps that Jaxson is like family to us. I am thankful that we have friends like this and it was so much fun seeing the joy on the boys faces when they found out they were going to get to go somewhere together. God is so good to allow us friends and family to help us along the way. Going it alone would be so much harder, not that it is easy regardless. My mom, sister, Chase, Chase's Aunt Jennifer, and Hayden all came too so we had a blast watching and playing with the all the kiddos.

Playdates...my sanity.

This week school has been out but Mick has been pretty busy with ball and practice. We've spent alot of time with friends and that makes me very happy. We were supposed to meet Aunt Amy and Pax at the mall one day this week and we switched plans to a picnic. Oh, I was so glad. I had Hayden too so it was a much needed energy spender. Then on the day Mick took Micah to practice Sadie Jane and I had a date with Brittany and Rhett. It was one of the few times that I got to actually watch SayJ interact with someone her own age and actually get to pay attention. It was fun and made me smile at how much fun she and Rhett had together. She is so different than Micah and it is neat to watch her grow and change and play. We also got to have dinner for Uncle Mickey's birthday and dinner with the Wallace's. As always the kiddos enjoyed it and so did we. Hoping today is a restful, relaxing family time as Mick has had a long week and we finally get to spend some time with him. Please pray for his team there is a lot going on and they could really use the prayers, not for winning but for hearts and choices his players are making. Hopefully I can be more specific in days to come. But thanks for praying either way!

Opening Day and Spring Training.

No, not for the Braves. We are Panther fans first round here. Mick started his season last Thursday night. Mick has worked extremely hard on their field in the off season (much to my frustration) and everything came together about 5 minutes before gametime. Micah helped me make a big poster and we headed to the field before we went to the airport to pick up Krissy. Micah took markers to the game because he wanted the players to sign his poster. We left quickly and actually forgot to get it done. Micah was so upset. But Daddy came through and when he got home he had poster in hand with all the boys signatures!! Micah was so excited. What a special love our bird already has for his Daddy's game. Mick has been out of school this week, but there is no off time in season so he has had games or practice every day (again much to my frustration). But yesterday Micah got to go to practice since it was in the morning. Usually it is smack dab in the middle of naptime so it was a real treat. He even put on his baseball pants and a little too small panther t-shirt I had made last year. I'm working on a new one...obviously. But Micah had the greatest time and SadieJane and I had some girl time! Mick was fixing things around the field and he mentioned he'd need some more duct tape to fix it. Well, later during practice Micah ran up to Mick and said, "Daddy, I need some of that 'goose tape' you were talking about!" too cute. So thankful even though Mick works long hours that our family and especially our children get to be a part of things. As always, Gooooo Panthers!

Can't Believe it Happened!

Krissy, Me, Trace, Annie P and Wendyroo in red:) We didn't plan it.

Molls and Lora plus baby Walt in tummy. Yippee!

Krissy and I...contrary to her eyes she had not had too much to drink.

Crammin in one car.

College car photos:)

The Sweet Suite!!

All of us at Two Urban Licks. Yum.

All of us plus my photogenic children. Ha.

Silly girls!

The awesome husband who made it all possible. (with help from Nana and Pops)

Micah wanted a photo shoot while we were all getting dressed on Sunday. Molls must've been pumpin' it up.

Ahh...signature Krissy.

Sadie Jane with her new friend P.

Me and the kiddos with Lora!

Ahhh. So I am on emotional overload. Starting Thursday my roommate and very best friend from Presbyterian College arrived. We got to hang out just she and I and the kiddos. It was awesome. In typical Krissy fashion she cleaned up she helped with the kiddos and served her heart out even with her time away from her two boys. Then Friday Annie P picked up three more girls; Tracy, Lora, and Wendy and headed to our house. Mick arrived and took the kids to Nana and Pops. When everyone walked in I was in total shock. I didn't even know what to say. We hadn't all been together in eight years. We were all in a bible study together our senior year. It took us about 10 minutes to warm up then the talking started and it didn't stop. I think the first tears came after about an hour of everyone being together and by the end of the weekend all of us had shed some. In a very therapeutic, restorative way. Mollie was our last to arrive on Saturday morning. She and three other girls were also my roommates for two years. We stayed up both nights waaaay past my bedtime but it was so worth it. On Saturday night we went out to dinner and dessert and I seriously don't think I've been out with out a time check since I was pregnant with Micah. Sunday we shared our hearts and prayed for one another. Lora stayed a day after everyone and she and baby in tummy got some time with us. Hopefully she still wants to have the baby after experiencing our family dynamics. It was beautiful. The whole weekend was beautiful. We all cut right to the chase of where God had brought us, the pain and trials we'd been through and so many stories of redemption. I truly cannot put into words the magnitude of this weekend. Even as I type this post I feel at a loss of how to verbalize what I feel in my heart. But I want to remember it, so as always I find a way for words. Haha. How after two days I could be a better person and grown and learned so much is amazing to me. The whole thing was a modern day miracle. Hearing how each girl was still chasing after our Jesus, although most of us with husbands in tow, some of us with multiple children in tow and one of us about to be a new Momma in a mere months. Two girls had lost fathers since we'd graduated. Some had been hurt and healed. Some struggled with singleness. Some wrestled with infertility. Lots celebrated marraiges. Lots added to their PC education. Almost all moved to other states. The God we serve is so amazing to allow a reunion of such power. We were able to shower each other with the grace and mercy that He has so lovingly lavished on us. We were able to laugh loudly and long as I am sure He was smiling at our joy. Our friendships and kinships were only possible because of our Jesus and it renewed my love for Him by being around women so brave and bold. Praise the Lord! On, on PC!

anticipation...

...and together they have on one full outfit. Haha.
I am so excited, nervous, anxious and back to mainly pumped about the next twenty four hours! I can hardly believe it is happening but a few months ago I initiated an email update chain with the girls from my college discipleship group. We caught each other up then tossed around the idea of a reunion, lots of us have kiddos, or are pregnant with child, or have a teaching job, or are deployed, or are really far away, etc. etc. so I didn't think there was anyway we could pull it off. But I hoped we might. And all but the deployed member will be arriving at my house within the next twentyfour hours!! Starting with my college roomie Kristen (who I lovingly call Krissy) who I am picking up at the airport in just a little bit. I haven't seen a few of the girls since we graduated from college or shortly thereafter. I think even those I have seen recently it has still been over a year! So it has been roughly between 3 and 9 years since I have spoken with some of these ladies. And don't go thinking we were just acquaintences in college...these ladies were with me through some of the hardest things God taught me, but then life came and we all went separate states, ways, etc. But God has made it so we can reunite for the weekend and we are kicking my little ones and hubby out and moving them in for some girl time like we haven't had in so long. There is also the anticipation of them meeting my lovely, well behaved, never a tear or whine, children. Each of them are leaving there sweet children behind and flying or driving here for their weekend away, I 'll get to meet most of their babies through sweet pictures and stories and while I am so thankful they get to meet mine I just hope they don't completely run amuck and allow us to still have the weekend I know they are hoping for, and maybe one day we'll do a big family reunion, that would be a miracle. If I weren't frantically cleaning I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. Well, once Krissy gets here we might talk more than we'll sleep. I used to literally talk her to sleep. Shocking I know. So, they'll be no blogging this weekend just lots and lots of talking, praying and loving on old friends!

They grow up so fast...

Kayla and Chelsea (two AHS people we let come), Ashli, Jordyn, Me and Magan
three of the original "softball girls"

I am not actually referring to my babies on this post. Last week, yes, again during operation can't breathe. I also hosted a Lingerie Shower for one of Mick's softball girls (gasp!). Now this sounds weird when I say it, but it is only because she technically hasn't been one of his softball girls in over 4 years...I just can't seem to let them grow up. Jordyn was one of the first girls on the team I met after Mick and I started dating and got married. She actually came to our wedding and she came to the first bible study I started with the team. Then she grew up. Sad. It is amazing how most of the "softball girls" are now actually my friends, or family even, but I can't bring myself to stop calling them softball girls. Jordyn is getting married in March and when I found out there was no lingerie shower planned I couldn't help myself. I am sure it was a little awkward for her opening panties at her coach's house. Ha. But it was a great time and Mick actually left and took the kiddos to his parents. Micah came back at the end and insisted he be in the picture we were taking...like any other. He had no idea what kind of shower it was...he just kept saying "Happy Valentine's Day". Once Jordyn knew they were coming home she quickly put everything in her car. She didn't want to mix the two things and I can't blame her. It was fun for me to remember oh what it was like to be young and getting married and being worried about how cute your panties were instead of just if you remembered to put some on and if they were clean.

My Valentine Monkey.

I have been oh so very sick. It has been JUST a sinus infection but I dealt with terrible incompetence by my doctor and suffered through a week on the wrong antibiotics to finally get two shots in the booty at immediate care, plus another antibiotic and steroid and within two days I feel sooo much better. It is the first time I have been so sick that I literally did not think I was going to be able to care for my children. I've had quite a few sinus infections but nothing ever like this monstrosity. Thankfully Jenny came to the rescue quite a few times. Mick started baseball so he is gone, gone, gone. He did pick up the night shift thankfully though. I will not be back to Dr. Crabby/Clabby again. Grr. Enough on that but it made last week pretty difficult, still wanted to blog about Micahbird's Valentine Day party. They are the Monkey class and I found these cute masks to color and the kiddos seemed to love them. The last picture of Jaxson shows how sloow my camera is so his eyes are no longer in the eye holes. Hee hee. So even though I couldn't breathe I made it to Micah's party and we had a good time.