Dedicated Mom vs. Dedicated Christian

Long ago in a land far away I used to be somebody. I used to sleep in, I used to match, I used to bathe and do all sorts of crazy things. I also felt pretty confident in my relationship with my friend (and hopefully yours) Jesus. But as the children have come, so has my ability to balance and carve out time for meeting with my Savior. Sad, yes. Hopeless, no. Now I have actually learned way more about Jesus after having children than I did before, and my prayerlife has definitely improved. BUT the whole "relationship" part of my time with Him has really suffered. There is that little thing called time alone that has diminished...but I somehow still find time to blog, to text, to run(although that is good prayertime) and (I'm working on cutting back) waste time on facebook. I was going to title the post "Dedicated Christian Mother" and talk about what an oxymoron that is...as it is so hard to be both...but I didn't want it to sound like I truly thought it impossible. I don't. I actually forsee it being easier as they get older and am already finding more time and seeing ways it isn't my lack of time but actually my lack of planning. For the past week or so I have been having some anxiety issues, about things that don't warrant anxiety, yuck. I have spent alot of time assessing and analyzing and finally praying; as to why this is the case and I just keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been actively studying His Word. The lack of discernment, peace and contentment went right out the door with my Bible. Since I am in a rare and blessed position to work from home I spend most spare minutes trying to cram in a little bit of work. When the babies sleep that is my prime time to work...but it could also be prime time to spend time with Jesus. I surely don't dare "neglect" my children by reading my Bible while they are awake. Hmmmm. Anyways, I've just been struggling with balancing being a dedicated momma while also finding time to still nurture my other relationships. I mean it is a given friendships, spouse etc. might get a little less time in order for me to spend time with Jesus (and those people seem to be a little more understanding than my kiddos), but it is a battle to put that time before time with my children. I feel that way either out of wanting to do something with them or by the fact that often I have no choice...I mean I can't leave them by themselves. I am pretty sure I can look back somewhere in the files and find a blog post similar to this one...but this is where I am...whether it be again or the first time. I am just thankful that God never leaves us or forsakes us and that He promises to see us through to completion, dedicated Momma and all.