Brokenness

We Read Psalm 38 

Yikers, tough stuff ahead. 

We all long to be whole, complete and filled. But the truth is there is much to be learned in the emptyness and broken parts of our souls. 

When is the last time we were broken about our sin? It may have been a while, a week or you may be sitting amidst great anxiety and angst as we study now. Repentance, examination and confession is key to our relationship with Christ. 

David was surely a man after God's heart but even he wasn't immune from great sin and in that; great brokenness. I don't know about you, but it is often torturous to walk around and "do life" when God is dealing with me about a stronghold or sin in my life. Perhaps that's why I try to avoid such raw exposure. But the prayer David is praying, while raw, is real and honest and a place we could all learn from and go to when an area of sin should be dealt with...big or small. (Not that God sees them as either. Sin is sin.)

God calls us to examine ourselves. Who among us, truly, deep down as believers wants to walk around with sin that we haven't both dealt with...in acknowledgement as well as repentance? There are but a few.

We all long for healthy bones, sound flesh and a light yoke. But those things come from a contrite spirit that is laid down as we confess and receive fresh grace and mercy. 

I spend an awful lot of time trying to "grow" and learn and "do" in my life with Jesus, but I often skip over examining my heart for sin. It's not pretty. It brings anxiety. It even stirs up conflict. These things make my pits sweat. Seriously. 

But if David humbled himself this way...moreover if my Jesus died on the cross for MY iniquities...it would serve us all well to bow down (way down)and confess, repent and get real about ugly sin in our lives. 

I don't say all this because I think sisters should spend more time calling each other and themselves out (no thanks). I say it because Gods word teaches us and gives us these living examples like David to learn out of this place of brokenness, just as we learn from our victories and God's faithful miracles.

All of this to say, we know David didn't keep his nose to the dirt and neither should we...we've still received that abundant redemption and we can lay claim to that and give up the claim to our sinfulness. We lay empty before God, not to enjoy emptyness, but so that we can experience true FULLness in Christ.

We ought not look at sin trivially, but seriously. We ought to deal with it not pridefully, but humbly. We out to be broken by it, but not wallow in it. We ought to cry out to our Lord Jesus to "make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation". Then REVEL in forgiveness and wholeness that only being BROKEN and redeemed can bring. 

I pray I'm not misunderstood on what I think God is revealing through His word here. I don't feel that we should be condemned or live in a place of continual sadness. But I do feel myself steering away from true examination of sin. This might just be me. But I feel a reminder to "go there", because if not we could develop severe strongholds. David surely saw a need to be there. But at the same time God doesn't call us to live in a continuous state of anxiety or condemnation. Freedom is in Christ as we lay bare before The Lord. The light is good. Bringing our sin into the light frees us from sins power over us. So that we can LIVE life closer to Him. That's what we are all after, isn't it?