Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Story of How #3 Came to BE.

So, the last time I got knocked up I sat down and wrote a post immediately after I peed on the stick. But this go round everything is different. Let me fill you in, I know you are wondering....or confused...or shocked...or all of the above at the fact that our family is going to expand. Most of you that read my blog know that we have gone back and forth about having another baby. A. Lot. More so Mick saying no and me saying maybe. But at times I've agreed with him because it seemed it was my last resort. Who wants to live the rest of her marraige bitter, right? Just teasing. I do trust Mick's leadership. I do. But at the beginning of the summer I started feeling like we should have another one. I knew that #1 Mick did not want one and #2 we probably couldn't do it anyways as we haven't been using birth control for over a year. So I just prayed that God would change someone's heart. Then finally on a date I got up the nerve to ask Mick to just pray about it. He promised to do so and in quite a few moments of chaos with the children insinuated he wasn't getting a Word from the Lord. I had a doctor's appt mid summer so I texted Mick for one more chance so that I could get on meds that could help this thing along and he texted back, no thanks, in the nicest way possible. I dealt with it and cried in the office but knew he knew best. Then our summer went to the pooper. Well, not really but Satan just really attacked our family, our house and even our kiddos. We were having serious spiritual warfare and it was a hard place to be. I was struggling hard with sadness and one situation upon another situation just brought me to a place where I couldn't get any peace. I knew it was satan trying to render me useless. At that moment I was praying and begging God to give me peace and He did. In the midst of some pretty icky (at the time seemed insanely dire) cirumstances and He met me right there. It was a really sweet time. I went to bed for the first time in a while slept hard and peacefully. I woke up the next morning with the weirdest joy. I even felt bad about it, because I knew there wasn't a real reason in the situation to find a whole lot of joy. Peace I got, but joy seemed ridiculous at the time. I got up to spend time with Jesus (both kiddos slept in???) and I realized I was 4 days late. I am always 2 days early and I always take a pregnancy test 2 days before that. I had not thought one thing about it until I had that realization, and then I KNEW. But I couldn't believe it. I knew that I had used my last pregnancy test a few months back but went downstairs and there was still one left. Took it and did the whole, glasses on, glasses off, unbelievable thing. Back to my knees I went just as I had the day before, yet this time it was unbelievable praise. In that moment the Lord spoke as to say "I am for you, this is yours". It was one of the sweetest moments I've ever had with my Savior and I wanted to for sure record it so as to not forget it. But also I give you these minute details to say that God deserves glory in it ALL. Each step of His plan was His alone and I am so thankful to be blessed as apart of it.  We are super excited about a new baby and life in our family, but equally excited that God continues to use each aspect of our lives to grow us closer to Him. After my God moment I quickly got back to the reality that included telling my husband who hadn't gotten "the Word" weeks earlier that indeed we were going to have baby #3. So I did what any mature mother of  almost 3 children would do, I typed him up a letter and took it to Mick's work and left it on the front seat of his truck. Prayed about it and gave him the gist of my heart as well as ended it with the ever loving "don't come home til you can get happy about this, and if you can't get happy don't come home" bit. He of course called immediately and has been the proudest most supportive Dad from the first moment. So supportive that he is the main reason that our secret hasn't been much of a secret. It seems turning 40 before having his last child is something to talk about...to everyone. But regardless I am just so thankful for Mick's support and love. Never once questioning if I secretly got those meds. Which for those of you wondering...I did NOT. It truly is a miracle that we are pregnant again. So we are due towards the end of March and are super excited. Yet pretty nervous. For those of you who mentioned...yes, I did get rid of alot of our stuff. Turns out most of that was carseat related and the carseat would now be out of date anyways! So we are accepting donations:) Seriously, it is funny this go round, not once has Babies R'Us popped into my head...but the numerous cute used items I have seen at the local flea market have. Ah, the difference from 1 to 3. I can already feel the freedom...and the cries. I think I've rambled on enough. Next I'll fill you in on the kiddos response. Now that was hilarious.

3 comments:

EMU said...

Ohhhh, I choked up a bit reading this. What a beautiful, beautiful love letter from God, this child is to you!!!

And so loved picturing you taking your glasses on and off, on and off, looking at that stick. I felt like I was there in your happy moment with you. :)

My parents were 40 when they had my little sister and my dad was just as fabulous for her and he was for me & my big sis. I'm sure it will be the same for Mick! He will be rocking it at 60 when he's moving this kid into her dorm room! (Yes, I said her.)

Tracy Carson said...

Just caught up Steph! SO SO excited for you!!!!!What a wonderful blessing!!!

beth ewing said...

what an amazing story. God really is in the business of miracles...you and I are proof of that. can't wait to hear the kids response. Miller almost cried and was not happy AT ALL. now he is though.