I have always been a bit of a head case. But when babies come into the picture it seems that my hormones dictate that I be even more so high maintenance. This is just a blog of my feelings...maybe you can relate...maybe not. This is one of those, not for the scrapbook posts, so you've been warned. If you are like my mom and are going to worry about me don't keep reading...I mean I am really ok I just need a place to release. So mom, go back and read a potty story. Lately I am super moody about almost everything. Seeing a new baby makes me cry, as do commercials and things that Micah does. This seems relatively normal. But I thought that emotion stuff was more in the first trimester. I am also super sensitive right now and have had my feelings hurt deeply by friends, Mick, Micah and others. I mean like sobbing. It is crazy. It is like I have no control over how I feel at all. What is ironic is that I am doing a bible study on being a better wife and the majority of what I am taking away from it is that I need not be so sensitive. Yeah, right. I seriously feel like I have no control over how I am feeling so how can I possibly keep it inside?...more so than I did with Micah. So I am struggling with my emotions and getting myself together day to day. I am feeling all emotional about ending my time with just Micah and I and I am also real worried about the whole PPD thing again. I had it something fierce with Micah and with all of these emotions now I am wondering if I am getting premature PPD? As you can see this post is almost incoherent, as are my thoughts. Did anyone else feel this way or am I just special in yet another way? I know that God is still in control and He created me and none of this is a surprise to Him, the way it is to me. But I am just feeling a little crazy lately and wanted to let it out. Don't worry I'll be fine in a few minutes.
8 comments:
Steph,
Again, you are a wonderful mother, wife, daughter and friend and you just want the best for everyone. Just try to focus on yourself and let that be o.k. even when others, like me, ask too much.
ILOVEU
Stephanie, I felt like I had PMS almost my entire pregnancy with Douglass Charles. I was irritable, sensitive, and very emotional. I felt very alone, depressed, sad about my time ending with Charlotte, and worried about the future and my emotions after the baby came. Keep a guage on your emotions and talk to your dr about them if they persist. Unfortunately, it may be all those horomones raging through your body. Just know, you are not alone. I felt very much the same way.
Steph, I can relate. I have struggled a lot with anxiety this pregnancy way more than I ever did with Owen. I think that with more on the line, in the sense that our family is getting larger, there is more to worry about. Not to mention that the internet doesn't really help that. I also get really emotional about time with Owen. That is why this past Saturday was so special (see my latest post). I will be praying for you but know you aren't alone!
You are soooo norman!!!! :)
Amy can certainly relate - the other day Ray went to the store and I called and she was sobbing - "They didn't have any Sprite at Kroger!" Everything makes her cry so you are just NORMAL!!! Hang in there - don't think of it as LESS time to spend with Micah - focus on YOU will teach him to be a good brother! Love you. mkm
hi Steph, Don't be so hard on yourself! Although I am not a mother, I think it is completely normal to let your emotions get the best of you sometimes. I think everyones comments are great! Luckily you have so many people that love you & care about you....We won't let you get TOO crazy...PROMISE! ;)
Hey girl! I have been thinking a lot about you recently. I think you do a wonderful job with everything and am think it is wonderful you are so authentic. Just know you are doing your best and that "giving a child a sibling is the best gift you can ever give them". They will do great together and so will you!
I also seriously thought I had PPD the entire second half of my pregnancy with Brody. I felt like my relationship with Jayden was already changing because I physically couldn't do some of the things that we used to do together. It didn't immediately get better because for 2 weeks after Brody was born I couldn't pick Jayden up when he wanted me to or put him to bed because I couldn't pick him up to put him in the crib. It does get better, though, once you physically start feeling normal again and the hormones level out....especially when you look at the precious, squishy-faced blessing that you have to show for it all!!
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