head case

I have always been a bit of a head case. But when babies come into the picture it seems that my hormones dictate that I be even more so high maintenance. This is just a blog of my feelings...maybe you can relate...maybe not. This is one of those, not for the scrapbook posts, so you've been warned. If you are like my mom and are going to worry about me don't keep reading...I mean I am really ok I just need a place to release. So mom, go back and read a potty story. Lately I am super moody about almost everything. Seeing a new baby makes me cry, as do commercials and things that Micah does. This seems relatively normal. But I thought that emotion stuff was more in the first trimester. I am also super sensitive right now and have had my feelings hurt deeply by friends, Mick, Micah and others. I mean like sobbing. It is crazy. It is like I have no control over how I feel at all. What is ironic is that I am doing a bible study on being a better wife and the majority of what I am taking away from it is that I need not be so sensitive. Yeah, right. I seriously feel like I have no control over how I am feeling so how can I possibly keep it inside?...more so than I did with Micah. So I am struggling with my emotions and getting myself together day to day. I am feeling all emotional about ending my time with just Micah and I and I am also real worried about the whole PPD thing again. I had it something fierce with Micah and with all of these emotions now I am wondering if I am getting premature PPD? As you can see this post is almost incoherent, as are my thoughts. Did anyone else feel this way or am I just special in yet another way? I know that God is still in control and He created me and none of this is a surprise to Him, the way it is to me. But I am just feeling a little crazy lately and wanted to let it out. Don't worry I'll be fine in a few minutes.

Getting on the Potty Train.

I have not posted about Micah's newest change because I have been in disbelief of his self initiative and motivation. He has virtually potty trained himself. Ok, let's not go that far...but as far as Micah and transitions go this has been one on the more simple side to say the least. We started free ballin it about a month ago anytime we were home and then each week we have gained more success. We've added pullups and big boy boxer briefs to our bottom half. The final test was vacation traveling and again to my surprise Micah did so great. He only had one accident and it was really our fault. Making that stop on the middle of a six lane highway not on my top things to do. We haven't mastered pooping...since those that know Bird know that he has to hop to get the brown trout out. But tee teeing is coming pretty naturally. Perfection we are not...a trip to Aunt Wenwe's led to two accidents but Micah is going alot. Now in case you are sick about my boastfulness, you know I always balance it with how we are advanced, yet not so much. The other end of the spectrum is we did decide to embark on the big boy bed movement. This has been a bad idea for so many reasons. I think for those who've yet to discover you should make the bed switch and THEN potty train; you live and you learn. But we've bought some cute sheets and started decorating a baseball room so by golly he's sleeping in the big boy bed! Micah slept on his own bed at the beach and we decided to continue that transition here at home. But, Micah isn't so keen on it as he is on saddling up to the potty. The big boy bed leaves room for so much freedom and fun that our little one hasn't experienced in two years. So he is livin' it up til at least midnight. Last night he cried tee tee four times and somehow mustered a trickle out every stinkin' time. Any suggestions on making this transition better let me know. Although I think it is our fault that with the potty training we basically gave him control in a trump card by being able to release himself from the big boy bed any time he feels a twinge of tee tee coming. I guess if nothing else we are training for the sleepless nights with the new baby. Which again I pray we don't regret all this work when Micah decides to regress with jealousy in a few months. Will he? Oh please say no!

*The picture above is one of our many stops on the way home from the beach. Whenever he said gotta we let him go. Unfortunately his blessed crocs are one less from all the pit stopping- we left one somewhere on the road from Pensacola. How sad! Our tire wheels have never been so clean though.

Happy Father's Day!

First off Happy Father's Day to Budda and Pops! We are so thankful to both of you for being our Father's...although neither of them will read this:)

I am doing a new bible study about being a better wife and one of the exercises it had us do was to read a verse and then list the positive things about our husband...since we so often are quick to list the negative. It really helped me to see how much Mick does for our family and I thought I would share because it might help you do the same. This was Mick's card for Father's Day:

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is anything excellent or praiseworthy – dwell on these things.
Philippians 4:8

True- You always tell the truth and think about what would be best for others.

Honor- You uphold honor by always choosing to do what is right, not what is popular, even if it is the harder thing to do.

Just- You seek to be as fair as possible and always weigh the choices at hand carefully.

Pure- You seek to be honest and pure with your students, your family and your friends.

Lovely- You love us and do most things well.

Commendable- You give 150% all of the time to everything that you do.
Excellence- You set an example for your children and your wife that is both godly and excellent.

Thank you to all of you who are father's out there...or those who might not be biological father's but are like that to someone else.

Buttercup on the Beach

So Mick obliged to taking a few pictures of my belly on the beach. Unfortunately Micah was spent at the time and Hayden wanted to kiss my belly in every picture. Mick did a great job with what he had to work with...and it was so stinkin' hot. So here are a few that are ok, I need to go back and edit but this is it so far.

toes in the sand...

Micah and I surfing.
Jumpin' in off Daddy.

Jenny worked hard in the water with the boys! Thanks Jenny!

Our good family picture...with Mick's stinkin' eyes closed!

Our worn out boy...

even though he had on spf50 every 30 minutes, Micah is still darker than we are...

Jenny with Haydee

Me and my boys, don't they look happy to be taking a picture?

My other boy:)

We couldn't get a cute one of Micah and I...it's nice when you can wear your college bathing suits when you are 6 mths pregnant right?

Our fabulous pool...I didn't really want in after day 3.

Jenny and Micah.

The only time Micah got down was with Budda.

The boys in their tank tops.

Too cute. (My dad cut Hayden's hair:)

...and sand in our pants. We went to Pensacola this week with my parents and Hayden. We had a GREAT time and the boys both loved the sand and ocean. It was actually both there first times seeing the ocean since they could talk. Hayden is really taking off with swimming finally. Mick and I also bought a big pool to go on the back deck...like I could lay in it...and the boys enjoyed that, as did we. My parents traded out a date night with us so that we could both have a childfree night. Thanks to Jenny and Budda (more Jenny than Budda) I had lots of help and more free time than usual. I read an entire book, got to do my bible study and went to the bathroom alone a few times. In my eyes that is a beautiful week. Mick and my dad got to go see the blue angels and some other naval stuff, which they both enjoyed. Micah loved being with everyone 24/7 and did ask this morning where everyone went. Micah is also changing and doing some new things, but I will save that for another post. Our trip seemed way too short but I guess it is a good thing when you are with family and you leave with everyone still happy. We had a great time and hope that we get to go again next year, hint hint, Budda:)

I wonder...

will they be alike or will they be different? Just a cute picture that I found of Micah that reminded me of his sister in the pictures we had from the ultrasound when she was just a little girl. Just sitting thinking about how thankful I am for our family and what we have...while it is perfect by no means it is what God has for us at this very moment and He is good.

Also, just a sidenote for recording purposes Micah is so far very excited about this baby sister. He constantly tells people about her and makes sure everyone knows there is a baby in my tummy, which I am actually thankful for since some people aren't sure of my weight gain. He promises to hold her and give her a bottle(boy will he be shocked when he finds out how we hope she'll eat). He tells everyone that her name is Buttercup...because we still can't decide. Two days ago when I came home from working (I rarely leave him) he ran to the door anxious to make sure I still had baby sister with me! Too funny.

First Braves Game.

Watching the game with Daddy.
In our seats.

Boys giving booyah!

Micah telling Jaxson that is a nike swoosh.

Sportin' his Chapel Hill hat.

Trying to get a decent picture.

Oh mom, kisses at the ballfield, really?

Jaxson looking cute.

Micah getting excited.

Family shot with Micah half asleep.

Last night Micah attended his first braves game. Thanks to the Wallace's he will never appreciate another one. We went with our friends who have tickets on about the 8th row behind home plate. So, needless to say we'll never be buying those tickets so he has no place to go from here but down. We all road in our car, surprisingly we all fit. The boys love riding together and Micah talked to Jaxson the whole way there and back. He loved the game and didn't understand why he couldn't go onto the field like he does at HIS ballfield. It was also weird sitting with Mick at a game. I'll have to admit it wasn't that different than sitting with Pops, Yikes! We didn't get home til real late so that was tough on Micah and me, quite frankly. But we had a great time and hope to take Micah again sometime soon. Of course I took way too many pictures so these are just for Jenny:)

for such a time as this...

trying to get a good picture as usual after the boys were tired and ...
so were we!

eating there lunch on the sit and spin.

For the last six months, I think, I have been doing a bible study series with one of my best friends, Taron. We have just finished the third of our studies. We have done three of the Beth Moore indepth Bible studies and really enjoyed them. This last one we finished today was on Esther. It was really neat to study a story that I thought I knew so well and learn so much about God and the Bible and the story of Esther all over again. I wanted to chronicle the things I have learned as well as the blessing of time spent over God's word with a friend so I am doing that here, skip it, if you want.

Esther is appointed to a role "for such a time as this..." and ends up doing exactly what God intended her to to, but in the most unlikely of ways. One thing that God has continued to speak over me through the study is that God is doing the same thing in so many believers lives including mine. Just because I think that He should heal my sister and restore our family doesn't mean that's how it's gonna be. It doesn't mean He doesn't care or that He isn't in control. In fact it just continues to prove that I, indeed, am NOT in control. And apparently I need to be reminded of that, like daily. I have been having a really hard time with the situation with my sister internally lately and am struggling with flashbacks from the really bad times of our relationship. I don't know why I am learning this lesson and having all these bad memories resurface at the same time, but I know it is part of God's plan and He will teach me something through it. Reading Esther's story has helped me come to know God's character more and to know that He will work things for His and my good, but that doesn't mean the way I neccesarily think it should happen.

Also I had wanted to start a bible study for forever and had actually tried a couple times but something always fell through. With my work schedule and wanting to be with Micah it seemed like it just wasn't going to happen. Then Taron and I became friends and it just naturally happened (or I forced her to). We hold each other accountable to do our study and then meet once every week or two to discuss the stuff we want to share. We do this all while the boys play. Most would find this crazy but I think for both of us it is just what works for us. We eat lunch together, let the boys swim, slipn'slide or play and talk about our lives and how God is teaching us through what we are studying. I am so thankful for this time with her and for the boys to have each other, and to see us studying and doing something important to us. When I remet Taron a while ago I definitely wouldn't have picked us to become fast friends and start studying the Bible together. When I saw her, I assumed she was a single mom(because her husband didn't come to gymnastics) and that she was wild...(because she had tattoos:).) But it just goes to show that things aren't always what they seem, and what God has planned is always best. I've told Taron that it is neat that we have become friends "for such a time as this..." to encourage one another and to have someone to be real with...that God sees fit not only to save us and change us but to bless us with families, friends and situations that help us know Him even more. Amen.

Happy Day Charlee Ray!

Climbing with Daddy, before long he was gone before Mick could catch up.
Cheese. Anytime Charlee had her picture made Micah thought we should take one of him too.

Jumping.

Best Friends.

Me and the birthday girl!(nice hat, Char Char)

Charlee's face after Micah kissed her!

Blowing out her candles.

Micah and his permanant playmate.

Charlee Ray with Mick Mick and Aunt Wenwe

Yesterday we went to Charlee Ray's 3rd Birthday Party at Jump 4 Joey's (or something like that). It was "like Monkey Joe's but better" is how Bay describes it. It had a lot more things and Micah had actually mastered how to do almost everything on his own. Which is definitely nice for me. Although not being able to do those things because you are pregnant makes it not near as much fun. When we used to take Micah alot I think Mick and I had more fun than he did. Charlee had a great time at her party and was just so cute. Micah loves her and she loves him too. He went to give her a birthday kiss and she just died laughing!!(see picture above) We are so thankful for Micah to have cousins that he can be so close with...Bay took him down a few slides herself and we can seriously not wait for our Florida Harper trip because they will love getting to spend that much time together. As this will be our last vacation with 3 kiddo's, next year we'll add one more princess to that mix...Lord help us. Happy Birthday Princess Charlee!