"The Freaker"

Let's see...there's "The Freaker", "The Overthetopper", "The PutDirt-on-it-er", "The Cool as a Cucumber", "The Lover", "The Examiner" and I am sure there are others out there that I am failing to identify. I am talking about how you handle a crisis....

I am officially a "Freaker". I come from a long line of "Freakers", my Mom (Jenny) is a major freaker, my sister is an almost identical "freaker" to my mom and Jenny learned it from my Grandmama who actually puts most "Freakers" to shame...and although I did not know my Great Gmama I am betting she is a "Freaker" at least in part.

I have always shamelessly shamed my mom for her "Freaker" ways. Whenever there is a crisis, someone is hurt, dead, etc. she goes to pieces. And I don't mean a little bit, but she gets loud and "Oh my God's" it to death. (I also know that the term "Freaker" sounds a little harsh but it perfectly fits the situation that someone actually "freaks out", I'm not a huge fan of the word but there wasn't another appropriate one to use.) Anyways, if ever we were injured my Mom would come running and if we weren't upset we knew we were gonna be, because with all her moaning and shouting and crying we were always scared to tears. Even now I have to preface tough subjects, with "Mom, please don't freak out and go to pieces..." but it never works, it only lessens the freak out.

Now my Grandmama she is straight Gone with the Wind- style freaking. She will literally fall to the floor if something has happened to someone or if she thinks someone isn't telling her something that has gone on. Although, I will say that when we found out my cousin David Allen had a heart attack on Thanksgiving, I gave her the same preface I give my Mom and she held up much better. Ah-hem, I wont tell you how Jenny ran out the cabin door screaming her head off and shouting to the heavens.

And then my sister, the toughest of tough...don't mess with her she'll beat you up...is a "Freaker". It is contradictory to her very attitude but nonetheless it is apparently in our genes and she must freak if the situation is a crisis.

I throw all these ladies under the bus because I love them so and think that they are great...I had just hoped not to emulate them in this ONE area. I vowed not to. I prayed not to...

...and alas last night at Micah's gymnastics I became one of THEM. I had both kiddos at gymnastics and also had a fever and some creepin' crud but I wont use it as my excuse. I was feeling yucky and about to go get Micah when I had left the watch area to go corral SayJ, when I get back all the parents are staring at me with the "I'd hate to be you" look and they bring Micah out screaming. He does not cry much and he doesn't really ever fake hurt. So I knew something was wrong and I was starting to get worked up...they bring him out and I can see it looks like his shoulder is disconnected (later we discovered his shirt was all wadded up and the lights were out). I started to freak and cry and then I went to grab his hand. It was limp as a noodle. And out came "The Freaker". I ran to grab my phone and some of it is a blur. I totally forgot to hug or comfort Micah as I started walking around frantically. A fellow "Freaker" grabbed Sadie Jane and she and I gave each other looks trying not to freak one another out. Then a "Cucumber" came up (ie the one Dad in the place). He assesses the situation and TOUCHES the arm, something I was NOT comfortable with...as any good "Freaker" wouldn't be. We can't let someone diffuse the situation...we must keep it going by all means that is what Jenny would do. So I get everything packed up and another mom that was more of a balance between the Freaker and Cucumber came over and offered to get us to the car since we weren't making much headway there and Micah was starting to freak out as well. Why? Oh why, hmmm, I wonder? Once I got in the car I stayed in a much more task mode and focused on the fact that I was so upset with Mick for not being reachable for the whole hour this fiasco is going on. I finally get Aunt Amy on the phone and locate Dr, I mean, Uncle Brad at Walgreens. I convince Micah that Uncle Brad knows alot about arms and shoulders, because remember he played baseball like Daddy. I trust him enough to actually let him touch it and he does his diagnosis in the parking lot until Micah asks him ever so politely to please go away. By this time we have movement but still no movement of the shoulder and Micah keeps saying his forearm hurts. Brad pushes and prods and only one spot seems to really bother him...I went back to "Freaker" mode during examination but got myself back together enough to tell him thank you and decide to go home since Brad says, "It wont get any broker, if you don't go to the ER for a while..." So we head home and as any good freaker had I had also enlisted, Taron, Kevin, Jenny, Budda, Nana and Pops in our freakout session. Micah is still screaming in his carseat and I get him out and bring him in. Nana rings the doorbell and lo and behold Micah gets up and goes to open it. (arm moving). Then after two minutes of Nana's arrival he is going through his toys full force and arm is completely FINE. Micah even confirms it and doesn't even favor it at all. Mick finally calls minutes before he becomes fine and arrives home to his normal healthy two armed bandit. Mick is a mixture of both the "Cucumber and Dustit-offer and Examiner" and he is a great balance for a "Freaker", he tends to diffuse my need for drama and all goes much smoother. Although I will state that "The Examiner" always feels the need to examine right away, which I feel is not always helpful to those who freak and it is not always neccesary. But I definitely missed my other half to balance me in a somewhat crisis situation. Thankfully Micah is AOK and while fixing him something to eat at 9:30 last night after all the ruckus I ask him why his arm isn't hurting anymore and he says calmly...I think Jesus just healed it. Exactly. Calm down "Freakers" Jesus will fix it!

As for me, I will continue to battle my genes of being a full fledged "freaker" so that my kiddos aren't frightened and if you fall anywhere on the "Freaker" spectrum, know that you aren't alone. AND, if you don't please know that we don't WANT to freak out...it just happens.

I knit you together...

Picture taken by Micahbird so the angle is not my fav. Of course you can't tell which one of us in this picture is pregnant, not because Jessica or I look big neccesarily, but because Brittany is teeniny.

...trying to get a picture with SayJ and Rhett. Notsomuch.

The Grass is Always Greener Disease

I tease Micah alot that he has the above mentioned disease. It seems that no matter what he thinks on his own, if someone else wants it, he has GOT to have it. This is especially true with SayJ...if she picks it up he is on it. This also happens with food, if someone else has something different, it never fails he changes his mind and wants that...even if he doesn't even like it. I wish he'd start wanting what other people are wearing, but this disease is tricky like that.

I know that this is actually a disease somewhat characteristic of his age, but today as I was driving and thinking I realized that it must also be genetic. I think I gave him the dreaded disease that I often ridicule him about. Some, Mom! It creeps up on me at the most inopportune times. Like today, I went with a dear friend for a 3D ultrasound to see her sweet baby and find out whether this beautiful God-knitted baby was a he or a she. It was such a special time and I am so thankful that she allowed me to be apart. Something about hearing that heartbeat....mmmm...nourishment to my soul. After she found out which she was having...I wont spoil her fun just now...but I will say Micah and his gender guessing is more accurate than at least the pee test at walgreens. So far he is 4 for 5 I believe. Anyways, after we saw that sweet baby, my friends sister - in- law who is a little farther along decided to get a glimpse at her blessing. Seeing two different babies in the womb is such a privilege and an honor. Pure beauty and a piece of who God is in a way that words don't describe. But with all that beauty came a little bit of ick. Ahhhh. It was at that point that I started feeling the disease kicking in. There were even a couple of other girls there who were pregnant too. Being around that much just made me want another one. Oh and on the way there, Micah affirmed that if Ms. Brittany could have two babies then he guessed so could we!!! A sign from the Lord, no less. I say all of this, not to make my Momma start sweating (and Mick for that matter). But this happens not just with big things like a human being, but also with little things, like my wedding dress, what I cooked for dinner, which Bible study I decide on, how a party went, even conversations...I don't necessarily always have to want what someone else has, sometimes I just don't want what I do have. I am not sure if this makes sense. This all has a point, promise. Well, at least a point for me:)

When Micah starts wanting things he doesn't have I get onto him and remind him of how MUCH he has, I think it is ridiculous that he even could possibly want something else. I remind him to be thankful and it is often even humorous to me because I can see how blessed, loved and (overly even) taken care of that he is. I often picture him in the midst of his toy filled house with a loving family and shake my head that he can't see what is all around him. But God reminded me today, that another baby or not, prettier wedding dress, different words said, and on and on, He was still the same and it is ridiculous, funny even, that I would get an ache for something only He can fill anyways. That makes me content in a way nothing else can. You see what each of us has is His choice for us and wanting something else is like telling our Creator, the very one who knit those beautiful babies I saw on the screen today, that I, Silly Stephanie, know better than He does. Nuts. That's what that is and it made me laugh as I played with my two before nap. My heart is so full with what I do have, and spending time on what I don't is a win for the prince of darkness and I wont have it. So while I am sure the disease will crop up for me again and again, just as it does for Micah, I pray I can set a better example so that we can hopefully cure Micah's "disease" before it turns into a full blown case. As with all my analogies I am sure this one has its flaws but I pray it is taken for what it is worth and that God uses it for His purposes.

Sunday Best

Who knew Hayden and Micah even smiled alike??

Apparently no one wanted to keep their eyes open because we hadn't seen the sun in so long...and now it is gone again. Boo hiss.

We had another fun weekend with our Haydee. Love him. Micah and SadieJane seriously are crazy about him and it is interesting how much he and Micah seem like brothers instead of cousins. I think it is a blessing how close they are and how much they love one another. Hayden has mad influence over Micah...which we hope he uses this power "for good" not sneakiness. So while he distracted Micah on Sunday morning I dressed him in (gasp) a button up polo and somewhat dresspants (elasticized but dress pants nonetheless) Then I had Hayden and Mick change to match Micahbird. Then I made them pose for pictures. In the front yard. Eeeek. I am that mom. Oh well...they all humored me well. AND Hayden's stellar mohawk and haircut was done at Mickey's Barber Shop. AKA our garden tub! With my oversight I thought Hayden's cut looked awesome. The minute Jenny picked Hayden up and closed the car door, Micah said "I miss him already..." It was our last weekend before the dreaded and highly anticipated "Baseball Season". Tryouts are this week and Mick no longer belongs to us...he belong to a couple dozen sweaty, noisy, smelly, but ohsolovable teenage boys. Wouldn't you know the week of tryouts we receive a monsoon. Poor Mick. Thankfully we are staying busy with school, home, friends, and finding creative ways to see Daddy. This year we get to be more apart of the team since SadieJane will be a walking, running Pantherfan now. Can't wait...well sortof.

Salon de Ta-ron

Sadie Jane got her fingernails painted for the first time last week. Well, sortof. Seven of them got paint on them. The boys had Daddy Night at school so the girls (Taron, SayJ, me and poor Maxsim) hung out and did our nails. Taron did most of the painting...she did mine and they were better than any asian woman has done them in the past, and she not once insisted my brows HAD to be waxed. SadieJane did not like being confined or sitting still for her manicure but since that day has "talked" about it and inspected her nails numerous times. I love having a girl for many reasons, but painting fingernails might not be in the top ten, but it is still really fun to thinking of doing things like this together for years to come! Thanks to my new nail professional!

Quirky Kid

Micah has to be one of the quirkiest kids I have ever met. I've met some kids in my day...but seriously, daily I wander to myself how in the world he got to be this way? We are not patronizing parents who allow for all sorts of nonsense...or are we...when I think of his quirks they seem like nonsense, but if we don't put up with them the reprecussions are endless it seems. His biggest quirk by far is his clothing....ahh the troubles it has caused us...

Oh my word I have never seen anything like it... he can't stand collars, buttons on shirts or pants, things that are the least bit tight, socks that are not shaped like rectangles, normal shoes, dressing up, sleeping in anything at naptime other than shorts (no matter the temp outside), underwear, sweaters, anything that has elastic on the sleeves, jackets and last the dreaded jeans (oh they hurt, oh they hurt he'll exclaim for hours on end). I am sure I could keep going. Basically this leaves short and long sleeved tshirts, shorts and sweatpants. Yep, that is what we wear. Every. Single. Day. We have finally stopped trying to force the dress up issue for church in fear that he will begin to grow to despise this Jesus who insists on a polo and khakis or jeans even. But that is not for lack of trying. For weeks we've simply held him down and dressed him in "snappy casual" attire, all to hear such moaning and gnashing of teeth. This week he wore grampa sweat pants and a tshirt. Such a proud Momma I am. To be fair to him these things do physically bother him. It isn't just mental...although I am sure he gets some weird fun out of it. Stinker that he is... Bless him he has never been shaped like a normal sized boy...his head always got stuck in the onesies from the day he was born, he could never wear any cute shoes as his feet were too wide and I guess I crammed his big belly in one cute jean too many and now he's scarred for life. That is all I can figure because most, if not all, his clothingquirks have to do with things being tight or rough.

Oh and above is Micah chewing on a tbone. The child has tried steak at least five times and never liked it, over the winter break we had some steak and the kid could not get enough. He ate a whole steak and then tried to gnaw the bone like a chicken wing. Quirky, he is...

Dedicated Mom vs. Dedicated Christian

Long ago in a land far away I used to be somebody. I used to sleep in, I used to match, I used to bathe and do all sorts of crazy things. I also felt pretty confident in my relationship with my friend (and hopefully yours) Jesus. But as the children have come, so has my ability to balance and carve out time for meeting with my Savior. Sad, yes. Hopeless, no. Now I have actually learned way more about Jesus after having children than I did before, and my prayerlife has definitely improved. BUT the whole "relationship" part of my time with Him has really suffered. There is that little thing called time alone that has diminished...but I somehow still find time to blog, to text, to run(although that is good prayertime) and (I'm working on cutting back) waste time on facebook. I was going to title the post "Dedicated Christian Mother" and talk about what an oxymoron that is...as it is so hard to be both...but I didn't want it to sound like I truly thought it impossible. I don't. I actually forsee it being easier as they get older and am already finding more time and seeing ways it isn't my lack of time but actually my lack of planning. For the past week or so I have been having some anxiety issues, about things that don't warrant anxiety, yuck. I have spent alot of time assessing and analyzing and finally praying; as to why this is the case and I just keep coming back to the fact that I haven't been actively studying His Word. The lack of discernment, peace and contentment went right out the door with my Bible. Since I am in a rare and blessed position to work from home I spend most spare minutes trying to cram in a little bit of work. When the babies sleep that is my prime time to work...but it could also be prime time to spend time with Jesus. I surely don't dare "neglect" my children by reading my Bible while they are awake. Hmmmm. Anyways, I've just been struggling with balancing being a dedicated momma while also finding time to still nurture my other relationships. I mean it is a given friendships, spouse etc. might get a little less time in order for me to spend time with Jesus (and those people seem to be a little more understanding than my kiddos), but it is a battle to put that time before time with my children. I feel that way either out of wanting to do something with them or by the fact that often I have no choice...I mean I can't leave them by themselves. I am pretty sure I can look back somewhere in the files and find a blog post similar to this one...but this is where I am...whether it be again or the first time. I am just thankful that God never leaves us or forsakes us and that He promises to see us through to completion, dedicated Momma and all.

Feelin' a Little More Girly.

So I finally got a new blog design that is a little more girly. The old design was before we even became pregnant with Sadie Jane so it was pretty masculine and little boy centered. Our blog name is still a bit Micah centered but now the design is for all of us:) Purple just seemed to be perfect since purple is such a huge part of our lives, work, and attire. Now it encompasses our WHOLE family. It looks like this new look will see us through for a good long while!! There is a designer blog button on here if you want a new one too. They are really great and reasonable.