Monday, May 5, 2014

Where to start...

Our lives got rocked to the core a little over a week ago. I got a morning wake up call that my sister had been arrested for drug possession. For those who've been with the blog for the duration, you know this drug problem has been around a long while. We thought she had gotten better. We were wrong. Bad wrong. I have so many thought/emotions swirling through my head even after a week but for now I just want some release as I record what's transpired this far. A jumping off point to see how far and how great God's plan is in a really hard, ugly situation. 

My sister has custody of her last 2 babies. A boy, who is 4 and sweet little girl who is 2. As soon as I heard the news I knew I had to go get them. Weeks before Mick and I had discussed the children's current situation and didn't think it was healthy. We weren't sure how to help the kiddos or if our concerns were valid enough. But we both agreed we probably weren't capable of taking that task on. But there I sat on my bathroom counter crying knowing God was calling us to rescue those precious children. I called Mick after the fact as I was literally driving to pick them up. There current living arrangements were so disappointing and I was immediately ashamed I hadn't seen this coming nor done something sooner. The transition to Aunt Steph's was amazingly easy... for everyone whose last name is NOT Harper;) The 2 littles just hopped up in my car and said, "let's go!". I was both thankful and tearfilled at their eagerness to go with someone they only see at Christmas and a few other times a year. The 2 year old girl has severe exzema and was covered in rash/bumps/dry skin. I only wish I had a picture if their current condition. But I guess part of me wants them and me to forget that part of our little journey so far. 

Right now the only thing for sure with our situation is...nothing's for sure. For those who know me you know that regardless of the fact that 5 kiddos under 6 is a wee stressful...the unknown is what overwhelms me most. I like plans, scenarios, back up plans and backup plans for the back up plans. To that God says " I am." Yup, that's what He says. I know, right? 

This blogpost is more for record keeping, prayer begging and lesson recording...but I needed a little therapy in there too.

We have temporary guardianship for now as an emergency plan and have all sorts of whatifs playing themselves out day to day. My sister is facing some major charges and consequences for the first time in her life. And quite possibly for the first time in MY life I have no desire to fix it for her. I want to see her well, being a Momma to her babies and living a "normal" life. But my focus is now on littles and what is best for them. The Lord has redirected my eyes to where He wants them and in trusting it to all work out. I am, I'm throwing this at His feet...begging Him to show me/reveal to me His plan purpose and my role in it. Prayers are greatly appreciated as the Harper 5 adds 2 new blondes to our mix for as long as He allows.


Tracy Carson said...

Oh Steph, wow. I applaud you for taking these kiddos in, they need love and support more than anything else right now. I wish I could help you somehow. Praying for you most certainly!

Maggie said...

Crying.... I will definitely remember you during my prayer aka nursing/pumping sessions. All He wants if what you have. He'll do the multiplying. Much love to the entire Harper crew.

beth ewing said...

I totally missed this and just saw it. I'm so sorry. I really thought your sister was doing well. But just know that right now…you are being the hands and feet of Jesus to those kids. You are showing them true unconditional love and the love of Jesus and you can't put a price on that. I'll be praying for all of you.