Monday, April 29, 2013

For the love of a 3rd.





When I had Micah I was pretty sure I was the first person to birth a child and have such love and such crazy experiences all at once. Ok, so I KNEW mother's who had gone before me might have experienced something similar. But as always when it happens to "you" it's a whole different ballgame. Well, for the love, the 3rd baby is seriously a breed all its own and I actually am the first one in most of my circles of friends with more than 2 children. In fact, with my best friends I am THE only one, and a lot of them are done. So it would definitely feed my tendency to think that I am the first person to go through all of the 3rd baby transitions. Ha. No I KNOW I'm not. Its just that any of my friends with over 2 children don't have time to call me back so we just aren't as close. Hee hee.
I know, I know, transition is hard and each baby brings about its own set of challenges and blessings. Whether you have one, two or five; whether you have merely babysat a child and aren't even married (I find it hard to believe anyone without children would enjoy my blog....pictures of her kids, silly words, blah blah blah...is what I am sure they are reading...if they are reading at all;)) Whether you are trying hard to conceive or get knocked up at the drop of a hat I know that each person's story of their lives is just that "their story". So this is mine. That is what my blog is for, right? So don't think I'm thinking myself better, more spiritual, or woe is me. I am just letting you know how it has worked in the Harper head case that I am.
This transition to the 3rd has been the smoothest of all of my babies. But it has come with all sorts of realizations. I in fact, love these realizations. Some are hard to deal with, but I just truly love where God has me and when I begin to doubt where "we-the Harper 5" are in this season I am reminded that God made it oh so clear that we were to have this sweet baby. So why would He not entrust her to us with great purpose. All babies have purpose which is why I could go off on a tangent about abortion, etc. but that is for another post entirely. It's just that my Jesus knew that Stephanie would need it audible and loud and clear to get all of the lessosn He wanted to teach me! So, what am I learning, realizing and noticing. Phew, a whole lot. Here it is in a jot it down, get it out there form.
For some reason there were ALOT of babies born around this time of year. How do I know this? Well, we have 2 of our children born in the spring and- we've attended 5 birthday parties in 2 weeks!! SelahBelle has really made her rounds. I have to keep reminding myself that we are building her immunity and that the judgement coming from well-meaning mother's of two...just teasing, don't know how hard it is to be a mother both to the children she has done everything with for years as well as be a momma to a newborn who wants to nurse at every stop sign. The only logical choice to be a good mother to both (for me) is to take them all everywhere. We are family, and I just can't send the other two packin' just because we have a third. Nevermind if a predominant amount of my presence is hidden by either a hooter hider or a sling. I am present nonetheless.
Some of the things I am learning though is a Momma with a lot (3 appears to be a lot from my point of reference...I know...notsomuch for the Duggars or Kate-Jon, but still a lot.) of babies tends to not have a place at social functions. Or at least not when they are each dependent upon you in some shape or fashion. While friends love you and want to be helpful there is only so much they can do.
Your husband too, assumes that if you've done this 2 times already, why in the world would you even need his help...and if he does offer it...you by golly have worked things down to a science and his help only interferes with your plan. I've learned that being alone is ok. Sitting and eating at a birthday party with your actual children instead of friends can actually be enjoyable. It can be lonely, but in a ok kind of way.

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