Been a minute...

 

since I've made a post...made my blog public...or even written for therapy. But things they are a changin'. So, why not jump start all the changes with putting myself and my thoughts back out there? Well, I could give you a list of why nots, but I'm choosing to find areas where I can be with Jesus, share Jesus and also share the things Jesus has taught me in the last two years. This would be the natural spot for that. I have contemplated starting a totally new blog because boy am I not the same girl that blogged about cute firsts and birth stories...and some of the surface stuff I posted is no doubt embarrassing. But, it actually is who I am or has been apart of my journey so I dare you to get lost in my mindnumbing scrapbook of finding my children awesome. Kidding. Please don't.

 

We are a few weeks in the the new year and I had planned on starting to blog January 1st. But isn't that just me that I arrive 24 minutes, I mean 24 days late.

 

God has done so much with The Harper 7 above and I can't even begin today to put it all into words. I am going to start at the ending that is coming near and then work my way back in the next few posts. Because that is how I work, backwards. We found out at our most recent court visit that we will be transitioning our sweet blondes, my niece and nephew back to their mom over the next few months. Ending in May when they will (barring any crazy changes) be put back into my sister's custody. This is a hard and crazy ride we have been on with Jesus and I have FINALLY decided to just wait on Him for the end of this story. So after 2 years with our family they will gradually visit with their Mom until the last day of school, where they will move back in with her. This is where my emotions start working too hard and my rational self takes a back seat so I am just going to say that while I have peace that God knows how this is all going to work and that I will hopefully finish this part of the race with at least some of my sanity I do have lots of trouble with circumstances and logistics. BUT, He does keep working those things out so I will continue to wait. I have trouble verbalizing these things that seem so final and hard so that is another reason I hope that blogging will get me to a place where I can type and then hopefully talk in a way that brings God glory and doesn't revolve around self pity and worry. A wise friend told me at the hearing of this decision that I shouldn't be afraid to grieve deeply, because loving deeply would then require the grieving deeply. So you've been warned. I might not want to read any of my deep grievin;)

 

If you are reading this then that means you are either super nosy (I mean you like to read blogs) or you love me. Either way I hope that you will be blessed by Jesus and His work in a very dysfunctional family and the way that He compels me to share the real in the reality of following God where He wants you to be when it isn't/wasn't the cookie cutter blog I had planned.