lessons from the Lord

So I've been sick for what seems like forever. Finally got an antibiotic after my second- husband initiated- trip to the doctor. I am feeling much better so it looks like Mick is as smart as he says he is...This being sick so close to Sadie Jane's arrival has served the Lord's purpose I think. My controlling nature is in full force this close to me being out of control with a new baby and all. I am so used to taking care of everything with Micah and getting a good bit done at work and keeping the house somewhat together...but with this sickness and my really large (just ask anyone) belly it has all gone kaput. I got nothing. My child's watching tv nonstop, work is all drama, and the house is a complete and utter disaster. It isn't that I was perfect at any of these things but I had control. Or I thought I did...so God gently...ok painfully used being sick to remind me that none of these things are in my control and reliance on Him is the only way I am going to have a chance of making it as a mother of two. He was gracious and compassionate to remind me of this truth BEFORE Sadie Jane comes so as to lesson the blow. Not that I could even begin to understand the mind of God but in talking and praying with Him I feel that to be His character in this situation. He is so good and is slowly easing me into a refining process and I am thankful for it because I am being drawn closer to Him. I am sure in the weeks to come and months...ok years...I will get closer and closer to this truth and I look forward to not buying the world's idea of together and control...but I sure haven't gotten close to attaining it yet. Rambling...I am...but just had to get it out there.