There is nothing bittersweet about this particular baseball season ending. It is simply just sweet. I don't mean to be negative. We went to games, we cheered the boys on, we had fun, but we had simply had all we could handle. This pic is on our way home from the last game of the season(we won!) and to keep everyone awake for the ride home I allowed them to have iccee pops! Yes, I am nuts. SadieJane looks like she cut her mouth open and is bleeding profusely but as I thought we got it all cleaned up and she took a great nap once we got home. Micah and Hayden helped me get ready for our "Welcome Home Daddy" Party. While there is no comparison to those who completely lose their husbands for months and sometimes years at a time in the military, theirs is the true sacrifice. But since Mick was gone so much I thought we'd give him a welcome home party each year now to mark the end of a season (it also cushions the blow if they didn't have a great season:)) This year's was a surprise and the boys did it up right with streamers, posters and a decorated cake. All 3 helped with everything so it was really fun to prepare for and gave me something to focus on.
With that being said I am going to take one more opportunity(this year, can't promise a similar one wont show up again next year) to put in a plug for coach's around the globe and how they should be treated. I am well aware that I am severely biased but there surely isn't anyone else singing their praises that is for sure! I mentioned previously we had a really rough season and while we didn't win alot that really wasn't the hard part. The hard part wasn't the boys either...although they had their moments, they handled everything on the field and they just weren't the issue. The issue was parents. Really? Aren't these boys in high school? Oh, wait, one day Micah will be in high school, wont he? I'll want to be involved in every aspect of his life. Especially emailing the coach daily about playtime and just to check in. Hahahaha...and that my friends is why I am married to Mick. To stop me from doing silly things like that. But I say that to show that I understand and sympathize with parents, I'm not coming from a place that doesn't see how your view of the team really involves watching one position and one at bat. I get it. Mick's parents even have a video a mile long that shows not one full game, it simply clicks on and off as Mick bats...over and over and over again. Ok, enough, we all get it. But in the past two seasons things have just gotten miserable from a Coach's wife perspective. I'm used to the runofthemill attacks but lately they are getting more and more personal. Here are a few summarized examples...
~You may remember last season ended with a shouting match between a favorite mom and Mick right after the game, while he was holding Micah. What was she shouting about? Mick had played her son too much. He had abused him and would now need medical treatment. From what I know, he is now doing exceptionally well. This parent will no longer speak to us.
~I sit, waaaayyy down the line at the ballfield. I've long since given up trying to sit in the stands and bond with parents. It is just too hard and the things you hear just aren't a blessing. Even though I know most of that is just typical I choose to not hear it and I certainly don't want my kiddos around all that yuck. So I take them far away from the parents and even accept and understand there is gonna be talk. At one game I'm standing in my position watching my kiddos play and a mom comes down to talk to me, which is always nice. While she is talking another parent comes up and just lays into whatever Mick has just done, calls him an idiot and a few other things before the mom can introduce "Mrs. Harper" to him. He doesn't apologize, just stands there with his mouth gapping open. I curtly let him know I stand waaayyy down here so I don't have to listen to people talk about my husband and then I go off to try to play with my kids.
~I have had numerous "friendships" with mom's of players, but lately alot of them I am realizing say some of the same things about Mick that the random stranger said. It is hard to want someone to hold your baby or hang out together when you realize later they are on the phone agreeing with everything someone says negatively about your husband.
~The last situation has been the hardest ever. A set of parents that we admire, respect and look up to said some incredibly hurtful things. They did at least come to Mick in private, which we were surely thankful for. I wont go into details for timesake, but the issue at hand was playing time, this time their son had not had enough of it. We get this literally ALL the time, but this time instead of just questioning Mick they chose to attack his character and Christianity. Stating over and over that Mick treated their child in a manner that was not Christian and that he should not be able to look himself in the mirror...along with a few other things. Mick handled the situation well and tried to explain himself (which he didn't have to do) but the parent insisted that Mick was basically a terrible person and had intentionally been ugly to their child. I also do not always agree on the way Mick handles situations, he can sometimes be harsh, but in this case I feel like he made every effort to both defend and explain. (just so you don't think I blindly think that everything he does is perfect:), I'm his wife so you know most of what he does is wrong in my eyes:) (just kidding) Unfortunately we still will have to see these people often after the season ends and while we don't have any trouble looking ourselves in the mirror like they had hoped I do have a really hard time looking them in the eye. I just want to cry and yell all at the same time, and ask how they could treat a fellow Christian that way, or anyone for that matter, even if he HAD acted in just the way they think.
~The absolute last situation comes from an outside source. One of my very best friends is younger than me, while her children are alot older than mine:) Her oldest has just started his very first year in competitive baseball. We had lunch shortly after this last situation developed and her perspective as a mom helped me immensely. She explained that while her child (whom I love very much) wasn't the best kid on the team, he still faced immense pressure. She told me about a game where his atbat put the game on the line and being a parent in that situation and how that affected her. It was good for me to get a glimpse of what even close to perfect parents are feeling and therefore be able to sympathize a little bit more with those who criticize. I then reminded her to NEVER question the coach. Hahaha.
So the purpose of this is always the lesson behind it...and that I am thankful I got to let a little out...so thanks. The lesson is two sided. I hope that I can always remember that while I love my child so much and think that both of them are so advanced...hahaha...they might not be as amazing as I see them. Or maybe they are just only that amazing to me. That is fine to think that as long as I know and acknowledge coach's, teacher's and others have to look at my child alongside quite a few others. I am the ONLY one who is only looking out for JUST my child. God gave them to me and it is my job, but it is not anyone else's ONLY job. I shouldn't expect that out of them. And while I think my child is amazing, he or she just might not give you the whole story (gasp!) in my experience even the really great kids slant things in a certain light for their parents. They know how to get you on their side and sometimes they don't realize or give you every detail. So before you go out guns blazing, get the Coach's take on things to go along with your child's. Poor Micah and SadieJane, they'll have to really have someone give it to them before we will ever take their side!
And as a Coach's wife again with the lecture, please oh please give them a little slack, I promised to at least make Mick do the same for the parents. Unless your coach is cursing at and beating the team he most likely wants to do the best he can. Especially since most coaches are paid little to nothing they aren't out to make your child "miserable" or "ruin the game" for them just for kicks. Coach's love the game just as much or more than your child and seriously have your child's best interest at heart. Please don't say negative things about the coach in front of them or to other people. If you've got problems or something to say, say it to your spouse late at night or talk to the coach in private. A Coach is the coach for a whole TEAM, he has to think what is best for that entire team, your child may not be in the exact position you think or have enough playing time, but the coach may know something you don't know. I am sure there are some evil coach's out there and there are also circumstances I haven't mentioned. These are just gross generalizations that I am making to hopefully protect a few coaches from those who are on the fence about something petty. Coach's aren't perfect and they will make mistakes. The good ones will apologize for those and admit when they are wrong. I am not saying don't talk to them, but go into conversations by putting yourself in their shoes instead of attacking them at all angles.
Oh my word, didn't I promise a funny Harper children story next? Oopps! This is the last of my seriousness for a while, folks. I apologize for longwindedness. It is a habit I can't seem to break. Not that I try very hard.
SayJ's general disposition for most of the shoot.
PegLeg SJ!
Pouting.
